So yesterday I had “the talk” with my boss about my return to work.  I didn’t feel very confident about the talk but once I spoke to Frank later that night he sounded very optimistic.  So Frank is my little cheerleader and I need to believe what he believes.

My intention of talking to my boss was to see if I could come back to work on a flex schedule.  I would like to only come in the office two or three days a week and work from home the rest of the days.  Most of my work involves emailing and talking on the phone to clients, which are easy tasks to do from home.  I know I would have to come in the office for conference calls and client development and the occasional business trip.  But I believe that a lot of my job can be done from home. 

So I presented my proposal to my boss.  At first he said it wouldn’t be possible with our company.  However he then quickly added that between the two of us we could work something out.  Unfortunately there is nothing set in stone.  And I don’t like the idea of having our own little secret operation that the big bosses don’t know about.

My main problem is I am having issues with trusting my boss and believing that he will follow through with his words.  There is that part of me that thinks he was only saying what I wanted to hear to keep me happy.  I hate to have things “up in the air” and not have a definite plan.  But that is a part of my personality and something I need to work on.  Frank feels confident that everything will fall into place so I need to believe like he believes. 

I was talking to my friend Dave on the phone last week and when he asked if I was going back to work I nearly started crying.  I hate that question because I hate the answer I have to give.  If there was a way to make it work, we would.  I wouldn’t even mind just working part-time.  Frank and I have been praying about this every night for the last couple months.  Frank, bless his heart, believes that everything will fall into place.  I need to get in line with him.  I just need to put more trust in the Lord and that He will provide the way He sees fit.

Weight: 160

Signs of pregnancy: I’m starting to get uncomfortable.  Hard to find a comfortable position to sit in and sleep in.  I’m constantly squirming around to find the perfect position.  I can’t wait to sleep on my back again.

Baby Development:  Baby P is approximately 6 pounds and 20 inches in length.  For the rest of the pregnancy, the baby’s growth will slowdown a bit (to help with delivery!)

Thoughts:  I am in my 9th month of pregnancy.  One month to go!  I can’t believe it.  Time is going by way too fast.  So much to do, so little time.  I’m starting to get a little stressed about everything that is not done.  I guess the hardest part is not knowing when the baby will arrive.  If you knew then it would be easier to get everything done.  But since you don’t know, you really have no idea when everything needs to be done. 

Oh, and I am going to pack my bag this weekend.

• Happy 3 Year Anniversary Jim & Nicole!  Frank and I are wishing you much love today and a continued amazing marriage.  May God bless your marriage for years to come!  Enjoy your vacation.
• Welcome to the world Natalie!  Your parents are so excited to finally meet you.  You are truly blessed with wonderful parents who are going to take really good care of you.  We can’t wait to meet you!
• Today is 8/20, my due date is 9/20.  One month to go.
• Today I am going to talk to my boss about my return to work.  Please pray that the Holy Spirit is with me during this conversation and I have the courage to say everything that I have planned to say.  This conversation has been hanging over my shoulders for weeks now and to be honest with you I have really been stressing out about it.  I’ve come home countless nights worrying about this talk and I just need to get it done and over with.  Also please pray that the Holy Spirit is with my boss as I talk to him.  Open his heart to my words. 
• Last night I was in bed by 8 p.m. and didn’t wake up until 7 a.m.  I only woke up twice for the bathroom.  That was some amazing sleep.
• I still haven’t had the chance to talk about my anniversary vacation with Frank.  I hope to get to it this weekend.
• Frank’s work threw him a surprise baby shower yesterday.  Baby Shower #5.  Unbelievable.
• Tonight Frank and I have Baptism Preparation Classes.
• I haven’t even mentioned this on my blog yet but Frank and I have been taking childcare classes at the local hospital.  Thursday will be our fifth week.  I’ll get around to talking about that as well.

Don’t expect a pregnancy progress update tomorrow.  I spent the entire day (9 a.m. until 6 p.m.) on a golf course (as a volunteer not playing.)  I am beyond exhausted and ready to pass out.  But hey, I got out of work for the day so that was really nice.  And I was mostly in the shade all day sitting on a chair.  But now I am home and Sophie wants some attention.  I’ll have my update late Wednesday night, maybe.

On Saturday, Frank’s mom and sister threw my last and final baby shower.  Seriously, Baby P is so blessed to have had four showers!  I can’t thank everyone enough.  We are so very fortunate to be surrounded by such loving and caring people.  I can’t wait for Baby P to meet everyone.

Just some highlights from the shower.

Here is the gorgeous cake that Frank’s mom had specially made for the shower.

Frank’s mom also set out the baby pictures of Frank and me on the gift table.  It’s hard to see Frank’s picture because it is so small (he weighted 5 lbs. 12 oz. when born) and maybe because my larger then hairy life picture is next to his (I weight 8 lbs. 10 oz.)

I got the Jeep Overland Limited Jogger stroller that we registered for at Babies R Us!  I can’t wait to use it (although I have to wait until the baby is about six months old.)  It was the only jogging stroller that had a locked front wheel, which is a must for running.  I’m so pumped about this gift. 

By the way, it has been exactly one month since my last run.  No that isn’t a guess, I seriously know the date (7/18) because I’m a total geek and I log all my miles.  Since 7/18 all my logs have been for walking.  What great sadness.

Since all the guest at my previous three showers wiped out our registry, we received a lot of cash at this last shower.  Which is super fantastic because we can now go out and buy 19 of the bumGenius Cloth diapers from Cotton Babies.  We already received two of the diapers so now we’ll have a total of 21.  The store recommends starting with 24 so you don’t have to do wash every night but 21 is close enough!  I’m excited about using cloth diapers not only because of the environmental factor but also because it will save a ton of money over the years.

So all the showers are done and now all we have to do is clean this house up and get it ready for baby.  Which I am in no rush for.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited about the baby but I also want a few more weeks to prepare.  On the other hand, Frank is ready for baby right now.  Just around an hour ago he asked if I had my bag packed yet (I don’t) for the hospital and five minutes ago he asked if I was having contractions yet.  He’s getting very excited, can you tell?

I’ve been reading Bring The Rain for months now, ever since Lisa mentioned it on her blog.  And for some reason I never linked it to my page.  But it is now up on the Blogroll to the right.  Check it out if you have time. 

The story Lisa linked to her page left me crying and aching for more.  I ended up spending about two or three hours reading all the entries before that one and all the others after.  And now I am hooked.  I apologize for hogging the blog all to myself!

Why I like this blog so much?  She is proof that God provides.  Even in your darkest hour, God is with you.  You just have to learn to open your eyes to see Him, open your ears to hear Him and open your heart to love Him.  Bad things happen to good people but you have to realize that God didn’t do it to hurt you.  God only wants to strengthen you and those around you.  You just have to learn to trust in Him with all your heart.

Continued from Part III.

Now that I look back, I spent most of my time during the ages of 18-21 just goofying off.  Sure I was going to college and working, but a good portion of the time I was just partying.  Drinking illegally, we thought, was oh so cool and we did it a lot.  I remember countless hotel and house parties and playing drinking games.  On several occasions, we would steal/borrow a canoe from a local subdivision’s lake and in our drunkenness we would sail to the middle of the water.  Besides the fact that we were drunk, it was so stupid because we easily could have been caught and taken to jail.  The stupid things you do when you are drunk.

By the time I was 21 I was ready to grow up.  Or at least I could legally drink so the risk factor was gone.  Three weeks after my 21st birthday, a friend Kelly from high school got married at St. Francis Xavier Catholic Church on the campus of St. Louis University.  My friend Jenny and I thought it was weird that we were invited to the wedding because we barely knew Kelly.  But we were close friends with the Maid-of-Honor Cindy so we assumed that’s why we were invited.  Regardless, we both decided to go to the wedding.  I think it was the first time I had been in a Catholic Church since high school.  I don’t recall going to church at all during college so this would make a complete absence from church for at least three years.

During the wedding, I heard God talking to me through the priest Father John Leykam.  I’m not really sure what He was saying but I felt His presence in a way I had never felt before.  Father John spoke with such compassion that you could easily feel God’s love through his words.  I remember having chills as I listened to him conduct the wedding.  He did such an amazing job and I’m sure Kelly & Lee were well pleased.  But for me, Father John helped me hear God.  A voice I hadn’t heard in years.  I had no intentions of finding God that day but I’m really thankful it happened.  The light bulb was getting warmed up.

I remember after the wedding I wanted to go back to church but I just didn’t know how.  I wasn’t at the point that I was ready to go alone so I needed to find someone to go with me.  Asking my then-boyfriend would have been hopeless so I never brought up the issue with him.  I only had one friend that was a practicing Catholic and she was really busy with school so I didn’t want to ask her either.  So instead I sat on the issue for about eight months.

It finally started eating away at me and I mentioned to my mom that I wanted to go to church.  It just so happened that her friend from work, Nancy, had asked her to attend church that very weekend.  My mom said I could come along.  I asked where we were going and she said Nancy belonged to St. Kevin’s Catholic Church.  Oh and it just so happened that Father John Leykam was the head priest at that parish.  Coincidence?  I think not.

To Be Continued

Have I mentioned yet that I have a great doctor?  I’m sure I have mentioned it, a million times.  Dr. Gosser was about 20 minutes late to my appointment but I didn’t mind a bit.  Frank and I just sat in the little room talking and laughing.  When he did appear he was with us for about 45 minutes.  The actual visit and necessary pregnancy part only took about 10 minutes but the rest of the time he sat and talked to us about the baby and answered all the questions we had prepared.  Most doctors don’t give you that kind of time.

Baby P is still growing at a good rate and Dr. Gosser had no concerns.  I told him how I felt like the baby was always laying sideways so Dr. Gosser had me lay down and he checked to see the baby’s position.  The baby is (or was) head down with his/her butt against my right rib and feet against my left rib.  Little hands were poking my belly button area.  The body part that I thought was the head was actually the back.  So Baby P is head down for now, or was then, which makes sense because I feel an incredible amount of pressure on my bladder.  I am going an estimate 20 times a day to the bathroom.  I kid you not.  Sometimes I go and then sit down and get right back up and go again.  The joys of pregnancy.

Dr. Gosser did the strep test.  Or is that stress test.  I don’t know what it is called but while he was down there he asked if he wanted me to check and see if I was dilated.  That freaked me out a little so I said no.  I think Frank wanted to know but I was a little scared to hear that I was dilated which would make my mind start racing.  I know you can be dialated for weeks but I’m not ready to think that way yet.  But Dr. Gosser did say that when I come back in two weeks (yes-2 week appointments now!) he will have to start checking.  That’s fine with me.  I’m just glad to know I have two more weeks to get my game plan together before I start stressing.  Oh who am I kidding.  I am stressing already.  I have a feeling I am going to go early.  Just some feeling I have.

Frank and I also went for a tour of the Labor & Delivery floor.  They are currently under construction so there was no carpet in certain areas and the waiting room is gutted.  Hopefully they have that all fixed before I deliver.  Whenever that will be.

Weight: 160 (exactly 30 pounds gained!)

Signs of pregnancy: Check out that pointy belly.  It popped out of nowhere.  I was just saying the other day how I don’t feel like I have grown the last couple of weeks.  Then on our vacation, Frank is taking all these pictures of me in my swimsuit and WOW that belly got big. 

Baby Development:  Not much to report.  Baby P is adding fat and growing.  That’s about it.  Two more weeks and those lungs will be fully developed.

Thoughts:  I am easily annoyed by people who “KNOW” what I am having because of the way I am holding.  Apparently I am having a boy.  I don’t have issues with people who say they “think” I am having a boy or they “think” I am having a girl.  But there are those people that KNOW what I am having.  That drives me wild.  Only God knows lady so get over yourself.  And really, you have a 50/50 shot of being right so it’s not like you are the smartest person in the world if you guessed the right gender.

I just got back from my mini-vacation and am sorry to report that there will be no pregnancy progress post today.  I didn’t get to weigh myself or take a picture so it would just be fluff.  I hope to have the post up tomorrow.  And soon enough I’ll talk about our anniversary trip.  I’m really tired right now and have so much to do before my Dr. Gosser appointment in two hours.  I’ll talk to everyone later!