Nursing 101: Knowledge is Key
This is Part X on a series for new moms about breastfeeding. Check out Part IX on Nursing in Public.
Breastfeeding is one of the best things you can do for your baby. There are not only many benefits for your baby but there are also benefits for you, the mother. But no matter how wonderful these benefits are you will encounter people that don’t support breastfeeding. If you are out in public nursing you might notice someone give you a strange look. Or if you mention you are a nursing mom you might see someone look down at your baby with a shocked look. You’ll hear things like, “you are still nursing your 4/6/8/9 month old???” or “but your baby has teeth????” or “isn’t it time to wean?”
There are many older people who think breastfeeding is old fashion and that formula is better. Basically there are a lot of uneducated people out there! For many, many years (maybe from the 50s to the 80s) a lot of woman protested breastfeeding because it kept them at home with the baby. Women really wanted their independence and breastfeeding didn’t allow it. Llittle did they know that breastfeeding gives you the freedom to go anywhere at anytime you want. Sure you have to take your baby…but isn’t that why you had a baby in the first place?
Recently I was at a pool party and after swimming I took Mary Rene inside to nurse. Apparently I was gone for a long time and when I came back outside someone asked where I had been. I responded that I was inside nursing. This woman, whom I didn’t know, was sitting right there and looked down at Mary Rene. The woman asked how old Mary Rene was and I told her 8 months. She looked down at Mary Rene again and then said, “maybe it is time you start weaning her so she doesn’t get attached.” I was really caught off guard and wasn’t prepared to defend myself. I quickly said, “well now pediatricians recommend you either give the baby formula or breast milk for the first year.” But she still said I should slowly try to wean her so at a year she would be ready to part from me. I was too upset that I didn’t respond. I just smiled and walked away.
I should have told her all the benefits of breastfeeding my baby…even past a year. I should have told her all the benefits I get from breastfeeding. Basically I should have been a better supporter of breastfeeding and I wasn’t. But I told myself that from now on I will stand up for breastfeeding if I am in that situation again.
The La Leche League has a list of great responds to criticism. Heck, you can use a lot of these responds to many questions you encounter as a parent…even if they are not about breastfeeding. I need to use these myself.
As Mary Rene gets older and I continue to breastfeed, I am finding it more and more important to be armed with the facts of breastfeeding. More and more I feel like I need to defend my choice and spread the knowledge. And I can almost guarantee that the older she gets and the longer I nurse I am going to be preaching more and more.
Next week I will write about: Sensitive Stomachs.
For all you moms who read my blog, please add your tips to the comment section. The more tips the better!
June 7th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Oh, I just love how everyone always wants to give their advice. I don’t mind comments or advice from the people that I am close with. I am NOT a fan of someone giving advice that I don’t know or don’t know me very well.
I get the “Just wait” comments at work. Drives me nuts!
I think people just need to keep their mouths shut! It doesn’t really matter if you are breastfeeding or bottle feeding at 8 months. There is always going to be an attachment stage regardless.
June 7th, 2009 at 11:05 pm
This is such a sensetive subject to me as I am still BF my son who is 23 months old. People look at me lie I have three heads when they find out Alex is still nursing. My male neighbor is especially vocal about the fact that I am BF Alex and will, for some odd reason, ask me if I am still nursing, why I am still nursing, it is way past time for Alex to quit, how bad my nipples will look….it drives me insane. I used to shy away, but as the months have passed and I have become more confident in my choice, I too have become more vocal. I am so sorry that you were upset by a total stranger’s opinions (she was totally out of line, in my opinion). But I think you will find that as time passes you too will become confident and advocating for youreslf and other nursing moms & babies will come second nature.
June 8th, 2009 at 7:35 am
I cannot stand it when people warn of babies being too attached. They’re babies! They’re supposed to be attached! They need us for everything. And I want to be there for her for everything.
I love the looks I get when I tell people we’re co-sleeping. We love co-sleeping and it works for us. How is that wrong?
June 8th, 2009 at 11:42 am
I love the looks I get when I tell people we’re co-sleeping. We love co-sleeping and it works for us. How is that wrong?
It isn’t!! Co-sleeping is great! And when done safely it is a wonderful bonding experience for the baby. Ohh some people drive me insane with their closed minded thinking.
June 9th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
I don’t really know anything about breastfeeding, but I wish that I had been there when that woman made the comment about weaning so that your baby doesn’t get attached. I would have said something like “I know! I’ve heard of such horrible things about babies actually being attached to parents. Some even grow up to be healthy adults, and then how are they supposed to relate to their peers when they don’t have the standard attachment issues?!”
Okay, so I wouldn’t have actually *said* that, but really. Sometimes I wonder why there is such a need to give unsolicited (rude) advice.
June 10th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
I love your post on this Trena! This brings back memories—my first child, Annemarie, nursed until 2 and 1/2 years old (yes, years, not months). Then she decided to wean herself and potty train herself the same weekend, when she became “big”! She was independent from day one, and still is today at 23 years.
My second, David, nursed until he was 4 YEARS old! (although he did get solid food too during those years) Oh, I got a few “comments.” So my retort became…..”well I guess when he goes to school, he’ll just have to come home for lunch!” Smile!
The LaLeche League has a great book, “Mothering your Nursing Toddler”
My advice is DO NOT say breast or boob, or anything else to your toddler, that you don’t want repeated (loudly) in public/church/where ever.
Come up with a “code word” for nursing. Ours was “nak-nak” So noone is the wiser when your 2 or 3 year old asks for “nak-nak” in public, and your reply is “pretty soon” or “when we get home” if you can’t nurse easily where you are at.
Trena, it’s not too soon to start with Mary, she’s going to start repeating whatever you say soon!!
June 14th, 2009 at 5:27 am
[...] This is Part XI on a series for new moms about breastfeeding. Check out Part X on Knowledge is Key. [...]