The other day I was talking to my grandma’s friend Mary on the phone.  I used to see her all the time since she lived at the same apartment complex as my grandma.  Every time I went to visit my grandma, Mary was in her apartment.  They were the best of friends and Mary came to all of our family functions!  Since my grandma passed away four years ago we barely see or talk to Mary anymore.  I feel horribly guilty saying this but the last time I saw her was when I first found out I was pregnant!  I didn’t want to take Mary Rene to see her when she was an infant because Mary now lives in a nursing home.  And then the winter months came and went and well now it is summer.  Oh I feel like I have let my grandma down.

We chatted on the phone about her health and I updated her on how everyone in the family was doing.  At the end of the call I told her that I would call next week so we could make arrangements to come by.  She agreed and before she hung up she said, “I Love You.”  But let me tell you, I actually heard her and felt her say “I Love You.”  It was very powerful and when I said it back I meant it as well.

It was the first time, in a long time, that someone said “I Love You” like that.  Don’t get me wrong, Frank tells me he loves me everyday and I do the same.  But our I Love Yous have become as common as our hellos and good-byes.  It has become a standard phrase that is stung along with our regular conversation.  But the way we say it to each other doesn’t provoke the feeling that should be attached to it.  Our I Love You can be as simple as “how was your day?”

Is it strange that the “I Love You” I feel from an elderly woman is more powerful then the one I feel or have given to Frank in awhile?  I love Frank with all my heart and soul but somehow we have both let ourselves fall into the routine of love.

I remember Frank and I had this same conversation about a year ago and we both realized our I Love Yous had become standard conversation.  We decided to make our I Love Yous important and passionate again.  But we have fallen back into our old ways again.  So maybe I was supposed to feel Mary’s I Love You so I could start saying my I Love Yous the correct way to Frank again.  The last thing I want is for our love to be as typical as eating three meals a day. 

Frank, if you are reading this…

…

I

Love

You

This entry was posted on Monday, June 29th, 2009 at 11:24 am and is filed under Frank & Marriage. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.