The Third Prayer

It is with great sadness that I write this post to say, I will never be able to scratch #82 off my list.  My grandma’s best friend, Mary Walker, passed away yesterday.  I’m taking this a lot harder than I thought I would.  I guess in a way, it is like my grandma dying all over again.  Mary Walker was like a second grandma to me and she was invited to all of our family functions.  Even when I would visit my grandma, Mary Walker would be over.  They were really close friends and did everything together.

But when my grandma passed away four years ago, we stopped seeing Mary Walker as much.  I remember the first Thanksgiving after Pumpkin’s death we invited Mary Walker to join us but she declined.  Christmas came around and she declined again.  Mary Walker did attend our wedding, a little over a year after my grandma’s death, so that was really nice.  But she never attended another family event.

We tried keeping in contact but as time passed it grew harder.  Mary Walker moved down to the city and it wasn’t as convenient.  I remember talking to her on the phone shortly after she moved and she was really excited about her new home.  She moved to Little Sisters of the Poor and was able to attend Mass everyday.  Up until that point I didn’t even know she was Catholic.  The conversation never came up.  But now we had something in common and she would talk about her faith and how she liked being around all the nuns.

I’ll never forget the first time we went to visit her at Little Sisters of the Poor.  It was the week of Christmas and Mary Walker had Frank, my mom and me down for lunch.  While we were eating lunch, Santa Claus and his elves came dancing in the cafeteria and handed presents and Santa stockings to each of the residents.  I looked over at Frank and he was starting to tear up.  Mary Walker was just beaming with pride at her new place. 

When I first found out I was pregnant we went to tell Mary Walker the news.  She was so excited for us and I would call her occasionally to tell her how the pregnancy was going.  I remember calling her awhile after Mary Rene was born to tell her the good news: Pumpkin finally got her girl!  Mary Walker was tickled pink that we named our daughter Mary after my grandma.  I told her so many times that I would bring Mary Rene down to visit, and so many times I didn’t take her.  But Mary Walker was very understanding and didn’t want me bringing my baby down to the nursing home.  She kept saying it was no big deal and just to send pictures. 

But then I made my list and decided that I needed to make more of an effort to visit Mary Walker.  I owed it to my grandma.  Mary Walker only had a niece and her only other sibling lived out of state.  She never was married.  We were her adopted family.  So after writing my list, my mom, Mary Rene and myself made it down for a visit.  Mary Rene was so close to walking and I remember Mary Walker saying, “oh next time you come she will be walking.”

We made plans to stop by the day after my birthday because we were going to Mass in the city.  But on the way home from Mass, Mary Rene fell asleep.  So I called Mary Walker to cancel but her voicemail said, “I’m sitting outside you can find me there.”  She was waiting for us!  So we drove by and there she was on the front porch.  Her face lit up when she saw my Jeep.  Since Mary Rene was sleeping we told Mary Walker we couldn’t stay but wanted to drop off pictures that I took of Mary Walker holding Mary Rene.  We chatted for a few minutes outside my Jeep and Mary Walker was so happy to have the pictures.

On Mary Rene’s birthday I called Mary Walker to tell her about going to the Cardinals game and meeting Fredbird.  I knew she would be so excited since Mary Walker was a huge Cardinals fan.  I told her I took pictures and would bring them down soon for a visit.  But she told me she had phenomia again and she didn’t want Mary Rene to get sick so I should just mail the pictures.

I never mailed the pictures.  It just completely slipped my mind.  And then my aunt called on Thursday to say that Mary Walker was only given a few hours to live.  I couldn’t make it down Thursday night to say good-bye because I had a zoning hearing but planned on going once Mary Rene woke up on Friday.  Once Mary Rene woke up, I called Little Sisters of the Poor and was told that Mary Walker passed away in the middle of the night.  I never got to say good-bye.

I was really torn up about it Thursday night and Frank said, “if you are meant to see her before she passes away then it is meant to be. If you don’t, it wasn’t meant to be.”  I was crying and so upset because I had so much to say to her.  I wanted to say sorry for not visiting her more.  I wanted to thank her for always being so good to me.  I wanted to tell her how much it meant to me when she would tell me she loved me when we talked on the phone.  I wanted her to tell Pumpkin that we love her and miss her.  And I wanted her to tell Pumpkin how beautiful Mary Rene was.

But my loving husband said, “Pumpkin knows all these things already.”  And really, she does.

And now, Mary Walker knows all these things too. 

 

 

This entry was posted on Saturday, September 26th, 2009 at 8:03 am and is filed under 101 Goals in 1001 Days, Faith, Family, Friends. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.