The Third Prayer

Since our church decided not to have their Fat Tuesday celebration we decided to host our own.  My friend Emily, with her beautiful daughters, Ella and Beatrice, and Frank’s friend Jim came over to help celebrate. 

It was completely last minute and I found myself at the grocery store three hours before our guest arrived.  But hey, isn’t that part of the fun.  Frank sent me a text message with everything to consider buying at the store: king cake, dirty rice, jambalaya, oysters, creole chicken, red beans and rice, shrimp creole crawfish and hurricanes.  I looked for every item and was only able to find jambalaya, shrimp and red beans and rice.  So I decided I would also buy gumbo soup, mozzarella sticks, chicken fingers,

mini tacos and potato wedges.  Oh, and pudding for dessert. 

Yeah, a lot of good junk food.

As you can see, Mary Rene also took full advantage of the beads and had to wear every single pair that her friend Ella brought over. 

Even Beatrice got to play with some beads!

The girls were having fun playing while we enjoyed some much needed adult conversation.

Beatrice was happily handed off from person to person so Emily could enjoy her food in peace.  Oh I remember those days!

Isn’t she a sweetie?

At the end of the night I told Mary Rene to hug Ella good-bye and she clearly misunderstood me and started to mount her instead.

Mary Rene was bummed when her little friends left so Jim provided her entertainment and let her do flips on the couch.

He was a good sport tossing her around but I think she equally wore him out.

Overall, our private Fat Tuesday celebration was much better than the one we used to have at church.  I think we might be doing this again next year.

Last year we were able to make the 7 p.m. Ash Wednesday Mass because Mary Rene was still just a baby and she wasn’t going to sleep until around 9 p.m.  Now that she is in bed by 7:30-8 p.m. we won’t be able to make the Ash Wednesday celebration.  Unfortunately our church only offers morning Masses at 7 a.m. and 8 a.m. and the likelihood of Mary Rene being up and ready for either is doubtful.  I know I could wake her up really and get her moving so we could make it, but that is a lot of work. 

But isn’t that what Lent is all about?  Going the extra mile for Our Lord?  And the first day I am already struggling to do it.  I’ve been researching area churches that have a later morning Mass, say 9 a.m. or 10 a.m. but haven’t found anything. I know of two churches that have a noon Mass but again, that is during Mary Rene’s nap.  And messing with a nap, is not cool.  But, shouldn’t I be doing it for Our Lord?  I’m conflicted on my roles of being a mother and being a good Christian.  I feel my call to be at Mass on this day, even though it is not a Holy Day of Obligation but I feel my calling to be a mother as well.  Since I have to work on Thursdays I like for Mary Rene to be in bed earlier, 7:30-8 p.m. on Wednesdays.  If we go to 7 p.m. Mass, the earliest she would get to bed is 8:30 p.m., but really it would be closer to 9 p.m.  Which means she will only get 10-11 hours of sleep as opposed to a solid 12. 

Writing that out made me realize how silly I am being and it really only is about an hour difference.  I mean, seriously, 11 hours versus 12, really?  It is only one day, an important day, and she will be okay.  So she might be crabby during Mass because she is tired.  So she might be crabby the next day because she was up late and didn’t get to sleep in.  But isn’t that what Lent is about?  Sacrifice?

Okay.  I think I’ve talked myself into it.  Starting Lent off on the right foot.  Starting Lent where I really need to be.  I’ll just have to work extra hard on getting Mary Rene to take an awesome long nap today so we can make 7 p.m. Mass.  Sometimes you just got to talk it out to realize how unreasonable you are being.  Good try devil.

As for our Lenten journey, we decided to change it up a bit this year.  I usually give up a list of items but by the time Lent is over I am ready to greet those items back in my life.  Two years ago I was pregnant, last year I was nursing and this year I am pregnant again.  So giving up alcohol or caffeine, yeah, already did that.  Giving up sweets, seriously the baby needs it.  Giving up junk food, seriously the baby needs it.  TV?  I don’t really watch it.  Facebook?  I only get on it three or four times a week.  Limiting my internet usage?  Okay, I can do that.

So this year we are doing more than giving up.  I am going to give up talking on my cell phone while driving, which is very important, and I pray that this will continue after Lent.  But that’s really all I plan on giving up.  Two days ago we started reading The Love Dare Book, my Valentine’s Day gift for Frank, and it is going to last a year.  It is a prayerful book that focuses on our relationship with God and each other.  (I highly recommend all married couples to rent the movie “Fireproof” and watch it with your spouse.  The acting is very poor but  the message is beautiful.)  In addition, we are going to start praying a decade of the rosary every night after dinner, go to weekly Mass (our church will offer Mass on Thursday evenings), attend adoration more frequently and do our prayer chain.  I have some personal things I am working on as well but would rather not discuss in this forum.  I’m hoping this Lent I am able to draw closer to God and be more prayerful.  Because really, that is what Lent is all about.

Better than any dictionary can ever say it, the Bible has the most perfect definition of the word love.  Unfortunately, the definition is so perfect that only two people on earth have ever been able to follow it: Jesus and Mother Mary.  But starting this Valentine’s Day and for the remainder of my life, I am going to try my hardest to love my husband this way.

Love is Patient

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love is Kind

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it is not jealous

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it is not pompous

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it is not inflated

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it is not rude

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it does not seek its own interests

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it is not quick-tempered

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it does not brood over injury

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it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth

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it bears all things

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believes all things

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endures all things

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Love never fails

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1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

We had a play date with my friend Emily and her two adorable daughters, Ella and Beatrice, my amazing Goddaughter.  That’s Beatrice playing in the background and Ella giving Mary Rene a good hug.  I must say, those girls are so adorable and sweet and we had fun playing with them.  Mary Rene was being a good little girl and sharing her necklace and toys with Ella.  She also liked pointing at Beatrice and didn’t mind at all when I held her!

But what did she learn while over there?  That big girls hold their own bananas!  It was snack time while we were there and I pulled out Mary Rene’s banana and would give her a bite here and there.  Ella asked for her banana and Emily handed it to her and Ella ate away.  At the time I didn’t notice but Mary Rene must have been watching her really close.  The next day, and everyday since, Mary Rene has insisted on holding her banana all by herself.

She is growing up right before my eyes!  She thinks she is something else as she walks around holding her own banana and taking bite after bite.  I guess she was a little jealous of Ella and wanted to be like her.  So cute.

I have learned that Mary Rene likes when I play with her hair.  She has been waking up in the middle of the night, screaming in pain from those darn teeth, and many times I am able to soothe her by running my hands through her hair.  She calms down pretty quick and slowly closes her eyes again as I stroke her head.  Sometimes during the day she will run her hands through her hair and then come in my lap.  I take that as my cue to start playing with her hair.  Such a girlie girl.

Our Parents as Teacher educator was over for a visit on Saturday.  Mary Rene is starting to get familiar with her and is always ready to see what is in her bag! Our educator was having Mary Rene imitate her as she cut up fruit and vegetables with a plastic knife and fed the baby doll avocado.  Mary Rene was having fun and picked up on the game really quick.  After awhile though she decided to take all the toys and scatter them like crazy throughout the house.  Mary Rene enjoys these visits and at one point went and sat in her lap so she could read her a book.  When she was about go leave, Mary Rene went up to her, grabbed her face and kissed her!  Besides spontaneously kissing Frank and me, she has never done that to someone.  I was so taken back by it but realized it was because Mary Rene really enjoys these visits and having “her friend” come over to play.

Mary Rene added “yum yum” to her list and I think it is because of our PAT visit.  They were playing make believe and feeding the baby doll and our PAT kept saying “yum yum.”  Later that day when I was feeding Mary Rene lunch she said “yum yum.”  So cute!

Nursing…still going strong.

I wasn’t feeling good all weekend and we decided to stay home for the Superbowl instead of going to a party.  I made some homemade chips and Frank ran up to the local bar and got us hot wings and mini tacos.  So we snacked just like we would have at a party but it was only the three of us.  Mary Rene started pointing at my wing so I put it towards her, she opened her mouth and I gave her a bite.  Instead she licked the sauce and quickly pushed it away, started crying and was pushing her tongue in and out of her mouth.  She kept crying and was touching her tongue with her finger.  Frank and I couldn’t help but laugh as we watched her reaction to the hot sauce.  I took the lid off her sippy cup and let her drink some water.  She didn’t want to stop drinking and we just kept laughing.  It was the best laugh we both have had in awhile, even though it was at our daughter’s expense.  Did she learn her lesson?  No.  A few minutes later she did the more sign as she pointed to my wing!  This time I took the hot sauce and skin off and let her have a bite of the chicken.  I’m so glad I was feeling well because we had such a good time hanging out as a family.  Plus, the bonus laughter was great!

Tomorrow is my mom’s 58th birthday.  Happy Birthday Mom!  I could say that I’ve always been close with my mom but I think that isn’t necessary true.  Becoming a mother myself has made me closer to her.  I’ve always loved my mom and had a great respect for what she did for us growing up.  But now, as a mother myself, that level of respect has only soared.  I realize now the daily sacrifice she made for us kids, sacrifices that were not spoken of but became a part of life.  Sacrifices that any good mom would do for her children.  But when you are a child, you can’t fully grasp it.  And then you become a parent yourself and you realize how selfish you had been all those years.

So thank you mom, for everything.  The many, many, sleepless nights.  The months of dealing with teething symptoms, with three kids.  The many times you probably gave us your dinner because we weren’t eating our own.  Diaper change after diaper change after diaper change.  Another diaper change.  Washing clothes over and over again.  Changing our clothes over and over again.  All the little things that seemed so mundane but were an important part of the day.

Last year my mom taught me how to sew and now I’m building sewing into a nice little hobby.  I’m so thankful for learning to sew because it gives me something to do while Mary Rene is sleeping besides watch tv or play on the computer.  I get to use my creative side and get something accomplished.  Sewing is great!

But I’ve learned so much more than sewing from my mom.  Without even trying, my mom has taught me a lot about marriage.

My mom and dad are ying and yang and they tell each other everything.  Sometimes I’ll tell her “don’t tell dad,” but she does anyway.  Because, you tell your spouse everything, no secrets.  I’ve implemented that into my own life and it has become very important in establishing trust.  She also taught me, “make your husband think that it was his idea” when you want something.  She is really good at this game and always finds a way to get her way without my dad realizing she is.  I’m still trying to learn how to do that and hopefully someday I will be as clever as her.

My mom loves being a grandma and looks forward to seeing her little pumpkin every chance she gets.  When I pull up in my parent’s driveway my mom usually comes out to greet us.  Mary Rene’s face lights up and she starts laughing and waving when she sees my mom.  My mom and her laugh really good together with their special little games they play.

Mary Rene is spoiled to say the least.  Even though my mom lost her jobs months ago she is still buying Mary Rene gifts like a working woman.  I keep telling her to save her money, but she insist, “it is my granddaughter and I want her to have it.”  Mary Rene is taking grandma’s side on that one.  She loves going to grandma’s house and seeing the new snack or toy that grandma and grandpa got her. 

But my mom doesn’t just shower Mary Rene with love and gifts.  She does the same to me…and others.  Every time I tell my mom that one of my friends is pregnant she whips up a baby afghan in a heartbeat.  When I mentioned that my friend wanted to learn to sew, she quickly offered to show her.  She always has Frank’s favorite soda and beer at the house when we come over.  She gives her heart to everyone.

I hope someday these are qualities that Mary Rene sees in her grandma and falls in love with as well.  And I hope someday these are qualities that I can take from my mom as well.

Happy Birthday Mom!

As I mentioned awhile back, I had a bad experience with Mary Rene’s former pediatrician regarding her shots.   The doctor was doing his job but the tone of voice and attitude were not necessary.  Looking back, I realize that a lot of it stems to my parenting skills.  If I would have been a better advocate for my daughter from day one then we never would have gotten to that point.  A friend of mine uses the same doctor and has been very successful with delaying vaccinations.  From the start, my friend gave a firm no.  I didn’t do that which allowed them to bully me around easier.

When I was pregnant with Mary Rene, I was in baby land.  All I thought about was what baby stroller to buy, what car seat was the safest, labor and delivery, breastfeeding, cloth diapers over disposable, and on and on and on.  Vaccinations didn’t cross my mind.  It wasn’t until a month before Mary Rene was born that I had the pre-interview with her pediatrician and vaccinations came up.  I was given a pamphlet on why vaccinations were important and that was the end of it.  I don’t even remember reading the pamphlet.  Why?  Because she was the doctor and I was paying her to make the medical decisions.  I figured she went to school all those years and knew what was best.

Now I realize how naive I was as a new mother.  There are two important things I have learned as an adult and I should have applied these to parenting as well.

1. Always Question Authority.  Professionals make mistakes because…they are human.  Haven’t you heard all the stories about doctor’s amputating the wrong leg?  Mistakes happen.  It is unfortunately apart of life.  Never trust what you are told just because the person who is saying it appears to have more knowledge in that field then you do.  Ask questions and expect an answer.  If you are given an answer that doesn’t add up, then do your research and become the professional. 
2. Knowledge is Power.  Trusting someone else to make crucial decisions for your child’s well-being is just ludicrous.  I realize that now but I didn’t before.  I gave them the power because they had the knowledge.  I realize though that seeking out the knowledge is much easier than going to eight years of medical school.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not discrediting all the years of hard work they put into medical school.  I applaud the doctors for doing that.  But what they know is also something we can know.  And once we know it, we have more power.  In order to stand firm in your beliefs on a matter, you need to have knowledge in that area.

I questioned the fire department when they said it was safest to put Mary Rene’s infant car seat behind the driver seat instead of the passenger seat.  When he explained why, I agreed and her car seat was put behind me.  I questioned the lady at Babies “R” Us when she claimed one stroller was better than the other.  I question people all the time but I wasn’t questioning the doctor because of the M.D. behind the name.

But now I am learning more, through web research and books, and I feel like I have the Knowledge to Question all Authorities.  So I am now, hence a new doctor.  I know I could have stayed with the same doctor because she would have allowed me to delay vaccinations.  It would be easier to do this then get the record’s transferred and start fresh.  But I know that even though I say I have the Knowledge and I say I will Question her Authority next time, I probably won’t.  I am not as tough when I am in person and since I couldn’t do it from the beginning with Mary Rene it will be hard to start fresh.  So I decided I had to switch pediatricians in order to make sure that I get started on the right foot with Sweet Pea.  I looked over Mary Rene’s vaccination chart and it honestly is too late to do anything different for her.  But Sweet Pea, I am changing it up a bit a lot.

When it comes down to it though, Mary Rene and Sweet Pea have two parents.  As much as I want to have my way all the time, I can’t.  And I don’t.  But I am thankful to have a supportive husband that believes I am making good choices for our children.  He works at a hospital and believes in vaccinations and thinks they are important.  When I told him what I learned in my research, he quickly added, “look at the other side,” and “there must be a reason they do it.”  So I researched and found answered to both of his questions.  As an adult working in a hospital around sick patients all day, it makes sense that he needs to keep up with certain vaccinations.  I don’t question that all.  But I question why an infant, just out of the womb, needs these same powerful vaccinations?  If my children were in daycare, then yes, I could understand the need.  Besides the fact that in most states it is required by law, there also is a bigger risk with all the children in close quarters.  When my children reach school age, then yes, they do need to be vaccinated.  Besides the obvious fact again that it is state law, they are in close quarters with other children.  So I believe that there is a time and place for certain vaccinations but I don’t believe it is the first year of life.

Frank was slightly on board with my new approach and as he always does he  casually mentioned to his mother what we were thinking of doing.  He says it in a way that he almost is trying to get her feelings on the matter.  At the very moment he told her, a nurse walked by (he was at the nursing home visiting his grandma.)  The nurse kindly butt in the conversation and told him it was a good thing to do that.  She went on to tell him that she lost a five month old patient because of vaccinations.

Clearly that is the worst case scenario and that doesn’t happen often.  I don’t tell you that conversation to scare you but only to show you that mistakes can happen.  Sure it could have been the vaccine itself that caused a negetive reaction.  Or maybe the baby was supposed to get the polio vaccinations but by mistake the doctor picked up the vaccinations for pneumonia.  Maybe the polio vaccinations is supposed to be 10 mil-liters but the flu is only supposed to be .10 mil-liters.  That baby just got 10 mil-liters of the wrong vaccinations.  This is all  hypothetical and I’m not certain what happened in that situation.  But it does happen. 

Which brings me to this point, if you do decide to get your child vaccinated, ask to see the bottle they are administering and the amount. Remember, everyone makes mistakes.  And as a parent, it is your right to see what they are injecting in your child.  Also it is good to write down the Lot Number on the side of the bottle.  That way if your child does have a reaction you can report the Lot Number to the National Vaccine Information Center.  They will make sure other children who got that same bottle will be closely monitored.

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I have a lot to say regarding this topic (can you tell?) and there is no way I can fit this all into one post so I will be breaking it up into several post over the course of the next few days or week.  Next post will start discussing the book, “What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children’s Vaccinations,” by Stephanie Cave, M.D., F.A.A.F.P.  I was concerned about vaccinations before I read her book and started my research online.  A few people suggested that I read this book and I am so glad I did.  If you are an expecting mother, I highly recommend this book.

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Today is my dad’s last day of work at Chrysler.  With the failing economy, the St. Louis plant was closed a few months ago (maybe close to six months ago?)  He was lucky enough to hold on to his job a few months longer since he worked in the water treatment plant for Chrysler.  But starting today he starts his forced retirement.  Remember how he was excited to start watching Mary Rene and he wanted to take her up and down the street in a wagon? My mom, Frank and myself went in together and got him a wagon as a retirement gift.

The moment I took it out of the box to assemble, nosey Mary Rene came over to help.

She found the wheels and decided to put them in the wagon.

Once it was finally assembled, she jumped right in and has enjoyed being pushed around the front room throughout the day.

But what fun is a wagon without your friends, Baby Jesus

and Violet.

Isn’t that wagon great?  It has two seats with seat belts.  Plenty of room for Sweet Pea someday!

Seriously, everyday she has been playing in the wagon, see the new outfit-different day.

She likes to take her blanket and pillow inside so she can lay down for a cat nap.

Mary Rene and my dad are going to have so much fun with that wagon.

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Month one down with the new budget and I am proud to say that I stayed on budget for groceries!  I really did not think it was possible to do it but I did with $4 remaining.  The key was staying away from Target.  Target has such good deals but whoever goes there and buys only want they need?  I only allowed myself to go in there once because with a coupon and the sale, I got regularly $4.99 soda for $2.  Unfortunately we didn’t stay on budget with our utilities (colder weather spiked our gas bill,) medical bills (yeah, I think I have talked about this enough,) dentist (we both went the same month,) and charity (Haiti pushed us over, but completely worth it!)  So on to next month!

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Speaking of budgets, we met with a new financial advisor on Tuesday night.  He is the son of a friend from church.  If anyone in the St. Louis area is looking for a financial advisor call Michael Disalvo at 314-932-4300.  Frank and I feel much better about our pending deductible because now we see we have other resources for money, if needed.  We are still praying that we won’t need it but it is nice to have a safety net.

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I finished “What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children’s Vaccinations” by Stephanie Cave, M.D., F.A.A.F.P.  I will be writing a cliff note’s version of the book on a post next week.  When I say cliff note’s version, it will be long.  It is a very informative book, eye opening that is for sure.  I highly recommend expecting mothers to read this book.  The only issue with the book is that is was last updated in 2000.  Ten years have gone by and there have been many changes to vaccines.  One change includes the rotavirus.  It is back in the line of shots and it wasn’t at the time of publication.  When I finished the book I was absolutely disgusted to look back at Mary Rene’s vaccination chart and see what was given to her.  I am so blessed that the only reaction she has had were two minor ear infections.  I say, “has had” because I learned from the book that side effects can appear years later, in the form of learning disabilities.  I am praying that other side effects don’t come up later though.  So many people talk about the autism debate with vaccinations but it is more than just autism.  Shooting your baby’s, already weak, immune system, with so many different viruses at the same time can cause strokes, seizures, learning disabilities and even death.  Okay, I’ll stop now.  I will be writing more about this next week.  The post is taking me awhile to construct properly but look for it next week.

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I have two new projects at work and have been, and will be, working my little tail off.  Working part-time can be hard when most of your hours are done at home.  Which means, you stay up late.  Lack of sleep means…lack of sleep.

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Two days after they decided to stop searching for survivors, more survivors are still being found.  I get goose bumps every time I hear another story about someone surviving.  The latest, a 16 year old girl was rescued 15 days after the earthquake.  Amazing.  I told Frank that I wanted to fly down there and nurse those poor babies.  Well, I also told him if I wasn’t pregnant then I would be convincing him to foster a child.  He really didn’t respond to that statement.

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I’ve been doing these Quick Takes for over a year now, hence the #54.  Has a year really gone by that fast?

Yes, necklaces are a necessity and must now be worn in the bath.  I can’t get her to take them off.  This morning, she hid two necklaces under her shirt so I didn’t realize she still had them on until I dropped her off at grandma’s house.  She is a sneaky little girl.

Mary Rene has added four new words to her list: Boo, night, my sister’s name, Tara and my brother’s name, Joe.  Tara sounds more like ‘ter’ and Joe sounds more like “doe.”  We practice all family member’s names and she is starting to try and verbalize them more.  Tara and Joe have the easiest names so I figured those would be coming first.

Mary Rene has decided that she likes when daddy puts her to bed and now as soon as she is done nursing, she sits up, picks up her blanket up and stares at the door.  She knows that I start off putting her to sleep and then daddy comes in about 20 minutes later.  So now she will just sit and wait for him.  He can put her to bed in 15 minutes easily so now we have decided to switch it up and let him come in sooner.  That’s what she wants after all!  Every night this past week, except last night because she is teething again, Frank has put her to bed.  She really enjoys her daddy time.  Do I mind?  Are my feelings hurt?  Not at all!  This is a much welcomed break and couldn’t come at a better time.  When bedtime arrives I am beat myself and sometimes wrangling her to bed can be tiresome.  Now I’m given the opportunity to relax on the couch while daddy wrangles.  Works for me!  Plus, I can start attending both La Leche League meetings each month because I don’t have to worry about her not going to bed for daddy.  I used to only attend one meeting and lately it has been hard to get to those on time because I was working to get her to bed.  Now, daddy does such a good job that I can leave!  A little bit of freedom for me.

Do you like Mary Rene’s new pillow?

I bought this material nearly a year ago and never used it.  When she was an infant, Frank used to talk to Mary Rene in his “Kermit the Frog” voice so I thought it would be cute to make her an outfit out of it.  But a dress?  I thought that would be too loud.  I still might make her a pair of pjs out of the rest but for now I made two pillows for her.  She loves her little pillow.  She was carrying it around the house and kept putting it on the ground and setting her head on it.  She then would give the pillow to Sophie B and tried getting Sophie to sleep on it.  She knows the pillow belongs to her and she kept hugging her pillow and carrying it around the house.  I could eat her up.

Regarding the nursing, I’m not sure how much milk I am producing anymore.  Mary Rene is still nursing about five to six times a day but I don’t hear her swallow at each session.  I was making her laugh during one of the sessions and I saw some milk dribble from her mouth so I know there is milk.  Regardless of the amount there is, Mary Rene hasn’t slowed down and stopped asking for it.  I think for her, it is not about the milk.  She seems to enjoy being in my arms and me talking to her and playing with her while she nurses.  So who knows, maybe there isn’t much there but she seems happy still.

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We finally got our new screen door installed!  Before Christmas, there was a bad windstorm and our door blew off the hinges and shattered into pieces.  We got a new screen door for Christmas but opted to save the $98 installation fee and do it ourselves.  Do it ourselves means, beg my dad.  My dad came over on Saturday and Frank and him spent nearly the entire day working on the door.

Frank said the door would have been installed much sooner but they kept misplacing tools.  I find this humorous because we live in a matchbox and all the tools were in the front room.  Regardless, the new door is nice and it will be even better once spring gets here.  It hasn’t been up a week and Sophie B and Mary Rene are already fighting over who gets to look outside.

They both would stand there all day if they had their wish.

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Thanks for the prayers on Monday.  A few of you emailed me privately and said you would pray as well and I really appreciate that.  Monday’s prayers were answered But I continue to ask for prayers.  This will be a long process, I am prayerful that it will, so prayers will be needed for months.

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When I was pregnant with Mary Rene, I asked the girls in my Bible Study Group for their recommendations on a pediatrician.  I took the names they gave me, did research and found the one that I really liked.  He was right by my house too which was even nicer.  Unfortunately he was not covered under our insurance so I had to go searching again.  A friend of mine recommended the pediatrician we selected and I must say, I was very pleased.  However, the whole time Frank questioned her and I found myself always sticking up for the doctor.  When Mary Rene went in for her 12 month appointment, her doctor wasn’t available so we had the other doctor.  I’ve always liked the other doctor but this particular visit went back.  He did his evaluation and then told me that Mary Rene would be getting four shots.  I asked why she needed four, and he looked me dead in the eye and said, “That’s what she is due for.”  I asked why four?  She has never had that many at once.  He picked up his file, looked me straight in the eyes again, and said this time was different and she had to get four.  As he walked away, he told me a nurse would be in right away.  My heart just stopped because of the way he treated me but I was frozen in fear and let the nurse shot Mary Rene up.  What happened?  She screamed, she ended up getting a runny nose, she ended up getting an ear infection.  I was so mad.  When her 15 month appointment came, her doctor was available.  This time she was getting less shots but I still wasn’t happy.  We left the office and I just started to get this bad feeling in my heart.  I was supposed to be my daughter’s advocate and I wasn’t doing a good job advocating.  I let these professionals walk on me because I allowed myself to think that they knew what was best for my daughter.  And it wasn’t.  Every time she got more than two shots, she would get crabby and a runny nose.  January came and so did our new insurance.  I remembered the name of the pediatrician I had wanted in the beginning, and it turned out some ladies in my La Leche League used him.  I had Frank see if he was in-network and…he was!  So on Monday, I switched pediatricians.  The problem for me is that I have learned I am all talk, and as much as I want to back down to the doctors, I couldn’t.  I had already started down the path of full vaccinations and I was too much of a coward to slow down the pace.  But with a new pediatrician I can start fresh.  Mary Rene will be going in for a 18 month check-up and my plan is to have a delayed schedule set up and show him on our first visit.  I will also have this set up ahead of time for Sweet Pea.  Starting off fresh is so much easier for me to do then stand up to authority figures.  And besides, I didn’t feel comfortable with the other doctor and I was paying him a lot of money.  Frank and I don’t have much money left at the end of the month and it came down to-spending my money wisely.  And I realized, I needed to invest my money wiser when it came to health care.  Okay, that wasn’t really a quick thought.

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I’ve been doing a lot of research this week about switching to organic products.  I mostly was thinking about genetically modified foods, such as meat and chicken.  But the further I went into my research I realized that GMO also effect milk, eggs, vegetables, fruit and even canned foods.  So if there is anyone who reads this and only eats organic, explain please.  Also, how much more does it cost?  Now that we are on a grocery budget I’m wondering if I can afford to go organic.

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Mary Rene went on a playdate Monday with her friend Elaine, who is two.  They aren’t that far apart in age but they didn’t interact too much.  Mary Rene wanted to sit on her momma’s lap the whole time while Elaine had fun running back in forth.  On Wednesday, we had a playdate with my friend Laura and her 2 month old son, Cole. 

Mary Rene was in absolutely heaven and loved him to pieces.

Laura was so kind and let Mary Rene hold Cole in her lap.  Mary Rene felt like such a big girl and was beaming with pride.  When we put Cole in the bouncy seat, Mary Rene kept trying to sit with him.  Poor little guy was getting squished by a 23 pound baby!

She just kept looking at him and smiling away.  Love?  Oh, I just think she likes babies a lot-which is a good thing.  It was really cute because she kept getting really close to him and jibber jabbing away.  She had to be saying something really important to him because her face was very serious and she would not stop talking.

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On Wednesday, I was able to cross off #95 on my list: get re-certified in CPR.  Well, I didn’t get certification because the class I registered for didn’t offer it.  But I am counting it because I learned Adult, Child and Infant CPR.  It was a three hour long class and I took it with one of my co-workers, Laurie.  (She had it on her list too.)  I feel so much better now that I know infant CPR.  It is so scary to think of, and I pray I never have to use it, but I feel more confident as a parent now.

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Last, but definitely not least, today is the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade.  As my amazing OB/GYN  put it on facebook, “Lord forgive those of us who have had one of the 50+ million abortions and forgive the rest of us for not speaking up as much as we should to protect your innocent.”

Sweet baby girl-

Today you are 16 months young.  The next time the number 16 will be an important milestone is when you will be 16 years old!  Oh gosh I can’t even bare to think of you being that old.  Getting your driver’s license and out and about, without me.  Can we keep you 16 months young forever?

You are a girly girl.  You love to wear five, six, seven necklaces at the same time.  If you are not wearing them then you are making Sophie B, daddy or me wear them.  You also love to wear your bracelets around your wrist.  A new girly thing you have started enjoying: SHOES!  Oh dear, this is a bad, expensive habit to fall in love with…but it may already be too late.  This morning you insisted, absolutely insisted, to wear your pink shoes.  You tried to slip them on over your pjs but they wouldn’t fit.  I took off your pj legs and slipped on your shoes. 

When I turned my back, you had ripped off the rest of your pjs and were walking around in just your diaper and shoes.

You loved to hear the way they clicked against the hardwood floor so you kept spinning in circles.  I think you might enjoy dance lessons someday.

You kept sitting down to admire your sparkly pink shoes.  It was so precious. I just sat and took it all in.

You even wanted Sophie to enjoy your shoes.

You love your doggie so much and love to give her kisses throughout the day.  When you are not kissing her you are yelling at her to SIT or climbing all over her.  She doesn’t seem to mind though.

Besides Sophie B, you love Theo, my cat.  Today, while daddy and papa were installing the new screen door, we went over grandma’s house.  You instantly looked for Theo so you could pet him.  Theo started meowing and you responded with a ‘meow’ back at him.  It was so cute.

You colored a beautiful picture of Barney while at grandma’s house.

But Theo’s feelings quickly got hurt and he wanted your attention.

You tried coloring him…and then moved on to color grandma.  You crack me up.

Friday you had your second experience with chocolate and I must say…you loved it.

Then you decided to give mommy a big hug and shared your chocolate face with my gray sweater.  Thanks!

You are still my little nursling and enjoy your milk.  First thing in the morning you want your milk.  A couple hours later, either out of boredom or comfort, you want your milk.  Lately you have been nursing just to come be closer to me and I enjoy this time together.  You look up into my eyes and smile away.  I’ll sing to you or tell you a funny story and you start laughing, clapping, and nursing away.  Yes, you do all three at the same time! 

These have been the most blessed 16 months of my life and I look forward to many more months and years, and years, and years, as your mommy.  I hope you always feel loved and special, because you are, in so many ways.